The intake as easy start

“Oh… I actually expected this to be way more daunting.'' - is what my client is telling me quite surprised. I simply can't hide a gentle smile. Cause well, I hear that often.

Many clients tell me they find taking that first step a little nerve-racking. They don’t quite know what to expect — or are afraid we’re diving straight into the deep.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, I do believe in deep work. But only in a warm and welcoming setting.

With a healthy dose of humour, of course.

deep work, easy vibes

In my cosy practice space in The Hague, we take things slow to begin with. Cosy chairs, a cup of tea and — for those who fancy it — a piece of chocolate. Because although we already start shaking things up during the intake, there’s no need for the atmosphere to feel heavy.

And that’s a good thing. Because regression therapy, exploring your family history, connecting with your body and your emotions — for many people, it's quite unfamiliar territory. We have become so disconnected from what is happening inside of us, that turning inwards can feel like a big or intimidating thing to do. And that is exactly why I’ve designed the intake the way I have: an easy start.

YOUR INNER DETECTIVE

Prior to the intake, I’ll send you a questionnaire to get you started on your own investigation into your family history. Not only does this provide us with valuable information, the process of asking these questions often gets things moving — all by itself.

• The father who normally seems so closed off suddenly has a lot to say when we ask him about his parents.
  

• The grandma — who always acts so proper — opens up about some of the bold things she did during war.
  

• Or the mother — whose warmth seemed so far away — wipes away a tear as she tells you why her own mum died so young.

In some cases, things actually shut down instead. Parents may ask why you’re getting involved with all that ‘nonsense’ or kindly yet firmly insist you leave the past behind.

Not easy. But... I can already let you in on one little secret: those kinda intakes are usually my favourite ;).

SHAKE THAT TREE

Once you've gathered the information — whether successfully or not — we can get started.

During the intake, we first take a deeper look at the issue you hope to gain clarity on. Because often, the ‘problem’ we think we’ve identified rationally seems quite different underneath the surface.

Someone experiencing a lot of anger might discover that a whole layer of sadness is hiding underneath. Someone struggling with relationships might suddenly realise just how deeply she misses her mother. And someone else might begin to see that the nightmares that have been haunting him for so long could actually be pointing to a suppressed event from the past…

Once we have a clear understanding of what this is really about, it’s time to give your family tree a good shake. Together, we draw the map — or rather, the treasure map — of your ancestral territory. Who was born when? What was happening at the time? Did the church or the war play an important role in your ancestors' lives? And if you feel into it… what must that have been like?

It is so beautiful to see that, in the short time we spend attuning ourselves to the different ancestors, a healing movement can already be felt within the system. The ‘grandchild’ — who is now my adult client — is for the first time able to connect with his grandfather, who thus far has been labelled as the ‘villain’. Or it suddenly becomes clear why the women in the generations before you, too, could not allow love in — and how that continues to affect you.

A LITTLE 'IN-BETWEEN' MAGIC

As an ancestral therapist, you might expect the regression to be my favourite part. Despite how special and rewarding this work is, I have to admit that I actually love the intake — and especially the ‘in-between period’ that follows — the most. It’s as if we’ve carefully cracked open the nut, and now we get to figure out what’s going on inside.

The first piece of work is done, the family lines have been activated, the tree has been shaken. And now… we can let life itself lend us a hand.

At the second appointment, I regularly hear that a client has had a vivid dream, an old photo album suddenly appeared, or a conversation with mum — normally so difficult — felt different. Not because I’ve sent you home with a massive to-do list. Simply because the intake has opened something up. You see differently. You feel differently. And sometimes it seems as though life itself starts bringing a few puzzle pieces our way.

What a win. And what a lovely — and by now, way less daunting — foundation to continue our work.